Curve Balls

Psalms 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

Proverbs 4:20-27 "...Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you..."

I couldn't begin to tell you how many curve balls Satan threw my way today. From emails to meetings, to co-worker's attitudes and even being hung up on, I feel like I faced it all today. And what did I do? I laughed! I actually laughed! A few months ago, the first email I opened this morning would have been enough to send me over the edge and back to bed with sobs! I paused. I stopped. And then I told myself that I wasn't going to let this bother me. This afternoon, when I sat right beside a particuliar person with no pleasantries exchanged - or even acknowledgement made - I told myself, "Ya know what? My God is bigger than you are!" And I silently laughed again. I think maybe God is laughing with me, too! So that's what I did today. I kept my focus straight ahead. I fixed my gaze on the truth.

When I read these verses tonight, I thanked God that I was able to trust Him again. I remember when Dr. Sheppard told me that my faith was the only thing that could get me through the depression, I remember thinking that I didn't have any faith left. I couldn't trust. I could remember the promises I needed to cling to, but my heart was numb. I remember thinking that I can't feel anything, much less trust someone. But everyday, God is strengthening my faith and renewing my spirit. I am learning that my faith has so much more to do with what I believe than how I feel.