Monday, January 14, 2008

Brighter Days

I don’t really believe in New Year’s resolutions. I consider making one and think, “what’s the use? I won’t keep it anyway.” So, instead, I tell myself, “well, I’ll just try to do better this year than I did last year.” That just sounds better to me. No promises. No broken promises and no feeling guilty for not keeping those promises.

Having said that, I am thankful that my God keeps His promises. I am thankful that He doesn’t have the same nonchalant attitude that I have when it comes to knowing that I won’t always keep mine. He not only has the “better” plan for my life, but right now, I am resting in the fact that He has the “best” plan.

I can feel my spiritual life growing as I begin to open God’s love letter on a daily basis (mostly) once again. I’ve started using my read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year Bible and I don’t feel guilty about reading it in the bathtub (where I do most of my thinking) or right before bedtime. Once a day, I try to physically pray on my knees beside my bed. It is the most awesome experience. I feel the hand of God on my shoulder and not even Satan himself can touch me during those moments. My attitude about work has changed and for once in a long time, I can say that I am happy.

I remember a few years ago when I began to get disgruntled with Sunday School, I thought, “I’ve heard all these stories before. I’ve gone to church all my life and there is not a single story in the Bible that I don’t know about. There is nothing new to learn.” First of all, yes, you may identify that with pride. I whole-heartedly agree. But secondly, once you’ve heard and know the stories, it’s no longer about how much you know but how God speaks to you through those stories. And maybe that’s where my frustration was. God was no longer speaking.

I am no longer going to counseling. I feel as if I have come full circle. That chapter is over (Thank you, God!). I look back and I think, “Man, those were some dark days!” But I consider myself blessed to have gone and come through that experience. Oh, for the joy of brighter days!

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