Thirst

I am not quite sure, but I feel responsible for my friend. Not responsible in the sense that it's my fault, but responsible for helping her get past the drama. I feel like God has put this person in my life for a reason.

Listening to her talk, it can be so easy to get involved in the chaos of it all. Sometimes I want to yell at her and tell her how ridiculious she is and the next minute I want to give her a hug and tell her she's going to get through this. I want to scream, "You need to get your behind in church," but I'm not sure it's the right time for that. I feel like the best thing I can do is encourage her and let her know that she's making the right decisions by going to counseling and staying completely away from the men folk.

I continue to pray for words...for wisdom...for guidance. I keep thinking about the woman at the well that Jesus met and how he never condemned her but simply spoke to her. I can't very well tell my friend, "I can give you water that will never make you thirst again," but I can show her what that water looks like in hope that one day she truly never will thirst again.

My Friend

My heart is heavy for a friend. Last Wednesday, she told me that she was having an affair with a married man. This didn't match up with the story she's been telling me all these months about her next door neighbor being her boyfriend. This particular friend is not even divorced. Are you keeping count? That means that there are three men involved. Not including the wife of the married man who is now involved when all this finally blew up last week. My friend's life is a complete mess! She has lied and tried to keep this charade going for far too long. The pressure finally got to her.

I'm not really sure why she decided to tell me all this. Was she feeling guilty? Did she just need to talk and for somebody to listen (and listen I did because I couldn't get a word in edge wise)? All I could do was just sit in shock. I wanted to shake her and say, "What were you thinking? You are the exact reason we married women can't keep our men!!" I wanted to rant and rave! I wanted to tell her just exactly what I thought. But the only thing that kept running through my head while she was talking away and spilling her guts was, "Laura, love the sinner. Hate the sin." My heart went out to her and I felt a sense of compassion.

I've prayed and poured myself out to God asking - begging - for wisdom of words to say to my friend. The opportunity came a few days later. As compassionaty as I could, I explained to her that I agreed with her that she had made a mistake; she had made a mess of things. And that I felt the opportunity to start over began when the whole affair (and drama) blew up. She truly sounded to me like she wanted to walk away....she felt bad about what she had done, the people she had hurt, and she wanted to get out of the situation altogether. She suggested going to couseling and I gave her the name of the best counselor I know.

I talked to my friend today. She sounds good. She went to counseling on Monday and has missed three days of work trying to clean up her apartment (from a ravaging rage by the boyfriend) as well as sort our her thoughts and feelings. I, on the other hand, continue to pray for the words to speak to her. I pray that my life will be an example of God's plan for the marriage relationship. I pray that my life will be an example of God's everlasting love for her.

Hannah Montana

I am struggling with the whole "Hannah Montana" thing. Do I or do I not let Alise get on the HM banwagon? Her 4 year old little cousin watches her. Little girls Alise's age are beginning to get the HM Barbie dolls (the ones that have the button in the middle of her stomach and play a tune when pushed) and even the wig at the birthday parties we've been to recently. What's a mom to do? I did a little research on the internet and discovered that Miley Cyrus - along with her dad, Billy Ray ("Achey Breaky Heart") - and family are professed Christians. I'm not sure how old Miley is in real life (I think she plays about a 15 year old on TV) but she seems to be down to earth and doesn't live the crazy Hollywood lifestyle. I think her parents do a pretty good job of protecting her from that and they try to escape California when the show is not taping by going "home" to Franklin, Tennessee.

One Friday night (during hunting season), Alise and I were flipping through the channels. Hannah was on the Disney channel, so I decided to give it a chance and see what all the hoopla was about. Alise was half interested. She recognized her, but beyond that, she would probably have been much happier watching "The Little Mermaid." Before I knew it, things were getting a little too serious on the show with Hannah -or Miley - I can't keep the two egos straight - kissing her boyfriend. I got up and turned the channel. I was like, no way am I ready for my daughter to be watching stuff like that! Again, Alise hardly noticed.

A few weeks ago, Alise asked for a Hannah Montana t-shirt. Right out of the blue. I think she remembered that her cousin, Brooklyn, had gotten not one, but two of them for Christmas. And when she gave me the HM request, she specifically asked that the t-shirt be pink ("Pink's my favorite color"). So I ran to Wal-mart on my lunch break to buy a pink Hannah Montana t-shirt. It was only $7. But, last week, she asked for the $20 HM Barbie doll (I didn't buy it)!

See, I love the innocense that Alise has right now. All she knows is that the princess marries the prince and they live happily ever after. Is there anything truly wrong with that right now? Does she have to know - at such a young age - how cruel the world can truly be? Not that HM is cruel. Just that maybe that's a party of "growing up" that I'm just not ready for.

I was talking to someone about the HM epidemic a few weeks ago. She told me, "Watch out! You're three year old will be acting just like a 16 year old...attitude and all." Nope. Not ready for that.

So, I think for the time being, the Barbie dolls and wigs and t-shirts are okay. She doesn't understand. She's so much happier playing outside and watching "Cinderella" and "Mermaid." I think I'll keep it that way as long as I can and relish in Alise's sense of happily ever after.

Living Room

I read these verses in Psalms during Bill's sermon this morning: "Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths. You care for people and animals alike, O Lord. How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings (Psalms 36:5-7)." I loved those verses! We've been talking in our Bible study group about prayer and praising God for His attributes. These two verses alone identify five of God's attributes: His unfailing love, His faithfulness, His righteousness, His justice, and His care. I love how the verse ends...reminding us that we can find shelter in Him. After all, that's the way God wants us...close to Him, in His prescence.

On my way to the grocery store this afternoon, I was listening to Mark Harris' new CD. Mark use to sing with the group "4 Him." I loved the chourus to his song, "Living Room." Here are the words to the chourus: "So come through the doorway/I've closed in the past/And tear down the walls of my pride/Open the windows and/push out the darkness by/Letting in Heaven's pure light/Banish the silence-open this tomb/Fill up my heart and/Make it Your Living Room." Talk about a renovation!

Prayer

I've been trying to make a conscious effort to pray on my knees in the morning. Sometimes my intentions work out and other times, they don't. It all depends on when Alise wakes up. One morning last week, I had just gotten on my knees beside the bed and began praying when I heard Alise begin to stir in her room. Normally, I go straight to her room when I hear her, but I felt urged to continue to stay where I was and finish praying. A few minutes later, Alise came bounding into our bedroom with the bright light blinding her. She found me on my knees and my hands clasped together. When she was finally able to focus, she said, "Mommie praying?" I said, "Yes, baby. Mommie is saying her prayers this morning." She also noticed that I had in front of me, one of Beth Moore's scripture cards. She looked at it, but never questioned me about it. Later that night, I was putting Alise to bed. Forgetting what had happened that morning, I noticed that she went running into my bedroom instead of kneeling beside her bed like she normally does. When she finally did make it back to her room, I noticed that she was holding on of my Beth Moore cards (I usually keep them on my night stand). The moment touched my heart. Talk about an example to my daughter! Even though she couldn't read the card, I let her hold it while she said her prayers. Here is the verse she held in her hand: "I desire that these things will be remembered before You: my work produced by faith, my labor prompted by love, and my endurance inspired by hope in my Lord Jesus Christ" I Thessalonians 1:3 (personalized by Beth). What a blessing! The moment just made my soul burst with joy because that is my deepest prayer for her is that she will come to know and accept the Lord one day. Amid all the chaos, all the detours and disappointments in life, if I can just live to see that day, then I feel like one of purposes of my life will have been fulfilled.