So Far to Go

Bill's Mother's Day sermon left me feeling like I have so far to go with Alise and that the job I've currently done simply hasn't been up to par. Why else would my two year old daughter scream and cry at the top of her lungs in the middle of a crowded store? And on Mother's Day of all days? I already feel like I have failed and yet I'm only just beginning. Am I setting a good example? Why do I let her pick Elmo books to read at night instead of reading her the new Bible story book I bought her? Why do I lavish her with gifts without letting her see the need in others? Why don't I have more patience? Why do I feel like I am constantly saying, "No" and "Don't do that!"? Motherhood just is not fun right now. I am discouraged and I feel like a failure in most respects. More than anything, I wanted someone to tell me that I am a good mother. I just needed to hear it. The words never came. Instead, my two year old daughter buried her tear stained face in my neck and said, "Mommie, I sorry. I so sorry." I told her with tears in my own eyes, "I am, too, Baby. I am, too."