Closed Doors

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."
--Helen Keller

When I read this quote by Helen Keller, I was gently reminded of how blinded I have become to the circumstances in my life. I truly believe that the door to my idea of "having a career" has been closed. It closed the day our competitor bought the facility where I work. But I notice that "work" is a present-tense verb. It doesn't end in "ed." I still work. I still have a job to get up to each and every morning. The choice I made to stay here in Monroe and be close to my family was not a closed door at all. It was a window of new opportunity and fulfillment. For the first three months of this year, I did nothing but dwell on the negative and my unhappiness. I wasn't looking at the opened window. I am so blessed that God has worked my situation and frustrations out for good. He loves me enough to allow me to be close to the ones I love and to have time for my husband and daughter. My career would have taken away from that. Thank you, God, for loving me enough to have a plan for my life and giving me the wisdom to see it.

So Far to Go

Bill's Mother's Day sermon left me feeling like I have so far to go with Alise and that the job I've currently done simply hasn't been up to par. Why else would my two year old daughter scream and cry at the top of her lungs in the middle of a crowded store? And on Mother's Day of all days? I already feel like I have failed and yet I'm only just beginning. Am I setting a good example? Why do I let her pick Elmo books to read at night instead of reading her the new Bible story book I bought her? Why do I lavish her with gifts without letting her see the need in others? Why don't I have more patience? Why do I feel like I am constantly saying, "No" and "Don't do that!"? Motherhood just is not fun right now. I am discouraged and I feel like a failure in most respects. More than anything, I wanted someone to tell me that I am a good mother. I just needed to hear it. The words never came. Instead, my two year old daughter buried her tear stained face in my neck and said, "Mommie, I sorry. I so sorry." I told her with tears in my own eyes, "I am, too, Baby. I am, too."

Queen Elizabeth II

"To many of us, our beliefs are of fundamental importance. For me, the teachings of Christ, and my own personal accountability before God provide a framework in which I try to lead my life. I, like so many of you, have drawn great comfort in difficult times from Christ's words and example."
--Queen Elizabeth II