Sam

Those words, "I think I got saved today" would later haunt me in my high school/college/young adult years. It was during those years that I did some things that I am not particuliarly proud of today and so they're not really worth mentioning. But I did begin hanging out with friends who weren't Christians and I got involved in an unhealthy relationship with a guy who wasn't a Christian, either. I was living the life of a backsliden Christian. I had one foot in church (because my parents made me go) and the other who knows where! My life was in a state of flux and for the first time in my life, I began doubting my salvation. All I could think about were all the unhealthy things I had done and how there was no way possible that God could ever forgive me. I became numb to the Holy Spirit. I simply no longer cared. I was doing what I wanted to do.

Then, out of the blue, a guy from my church called me up and asked me if I would be interested in going on a date. Let's just call this guy Sam. Sam was a great guy and he attended the local Christian school where he was a star football player. His parents and older brother attended our church and his family was well respected. I was shocked that Sam was calling me. After all, he had dated off and on with alot of the girls my age in our church and I was a little wary of him. But for the first time in a while, I felt I needed a change. My relationship with the other guy wasn't going that well and we eventually broke up. Sam and I dated for a summer and our relationship changed my life forever. God used our dating relationship to draw me back to Himself. You see, even though I knew that I was dating the "wrong guy," I was secretly praying that God would send a Christian guy my way. And so, for that summer, Sam was that guy. But we eventually broke up, too. I don't remember the reason exactly, but I remember being so hurt because I had trusted Sam with alot of details about my life. Not that he would ever think about sharing that with someone ( to my knowledge, he didn't), but it was such a bittersweet break up for me. I thought Sam was the guy, but God thought differently.

If there is one thing that God continues to teach me over and over again, it's that, "... My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8). And sometimes my expectations are so high, that I am left hurt or disappointed, which is what happened with Sam. But I am convinced that God used a guy like Sam to bring me back into a relationship with Him. Now, of course, there were other moments of disobedience, but I can honestly say that I never strayed from the Lord as far as I had been prior to Sam entering my life. Everyone has heard the old phrase, "where God closes a door, He opens a window." And that's exactly what happened. The window He opened was the pathway that lead to my Christian husband.